Blessing or Curse

For the past two years, it had been a period of decision making. For the 1st part out of the 4 parts of the two years, I thought I would work hard and get the passport to higher education. For the next 3 parts, I decided not to because I was put off by the assessment system the education system has in place. Not that I was complaining, but I was anal about the non-transparency which can not be avoided.

Anyway, for the next 3 parts of the 2 years, I planned for a pass and not the passport which only the people with good results will get.

I was so sure of my planning. I was pissed to see my planning failed because I eventually go the passport to higher education. I should be pleased to receive that for others are dying to have it. Yet it also made me feel that I have become an outcast in certain ways which I cannot explain.

Each time I moved among different levels of educated people, I realised that if I am not the same as them, I do not belong. Maybe I am thinking too much or I am feeling too much, but I do not want to lose good friends. A blessing or a curse? I may not know.

However, be it for myself or my friends, I will take the step out and carry on. I will work hard so that at least they will be proud of me.