Once in a lifetime...

Once in a lifetime, we do something real stupid. Once in a lifetime, I saw an orange headed man trying to engage the girls in the MRT in his perfect Mandarin with crappy contents. The girls obviously wanted to be left alone, but the man did not relent. Well fortunately, he left after a long torturous 25 minutes' MRT ride.

I thought that was something quite bad, but I realised that there was something worse. Once in a lifetime, we can do something stupid. However, if in an extended period in a lifetime, we are doing the same stupid stuff, that is worse than stupidity. That's moronic.

I hope I can do something about it, but it will cost. Well, it is just a matter of time to pay the price. I have thought of it; I have prepared for it; I am left with the execution...

By popular demand.....

Democratic is the word people use when it comes to nominating or choosing some people for a task. The people who choose argue that they choose based on the capabilities and the character of the person. The people claim they know the person and that the person is a person of integrity.

So is it true that the majority's belief will always win the minority's belief? If the minority knows that the person is not up to it, does it matter? No, it doesn't. In the face of 'democracy', the majority wins.

This can be one area where democracy is being abused.

How hard is it to understand a situation?

Impossibly hard...

I watched the Pirates of the Carribean III last night. I found myself empathising with the main character Jack Sparrow in the movie. There was one man who was supposed to be self-centered, only intent on saving his ass, manipulating others, stepping over others to reach his target. Yet at the end, he was plagued by indecision whether to become the next immortal Captain or to save someone who has betrayed him quite a number of times.

The indecision at that point of time marked the struggle between the two decisions, either for your self, or for the other people around you. I won't even mutter the words 'good' or 'evil', for these two words are biased, determined by rules and laws of communities or rather perception. I was accused of criticising someone when the intention was not so. The judgement call was made without even questioning the intention and worse, it was made by assumption when that someone was working on unbiaseness.

I gave up my seat in the MRT for a pregnant lady. The pregnant lady thanked the person who was standing in front of me, rather than me. Fine.

I tried to get people to reflect based on explicit questioning into specifics. I was accused of criticising too. Well done.

Miscommunication is the 'in' thing in this era where people judged on impression, and not by analysis of evidence from all sides.

What I want in life for now

Loving oneself can be a chore. I love myself enough to not do things I do not like. I don't like to act or be a hypocrite. I like to see friends around me happy and with a genuine smile on their faces.

Yet I am not knowledgeable enough to know what I should do to help my friends in a generally correct way. So if I have to be the gong kia, I will be one. If I have to be the one whose words are direct and harsh, I will be one. If I have to be the weirdo, I will be one. If I have to be the one who people will ignore, I will be one. I just know I do what I can.

Today my friends and I went TCC instead of the Settlers. We ended up playing 'ji gou pa'. It was lame but it was fun and it brought laughter from us. I really treasure the laughable moments where everyone is happy and any trouble is forgotten.

I just want to fulfil a simple thing to have my friends happy with their lives generally.

10 weeks

I thought it would be fast, but it was not. Hectic, packed to the brim, trying to breathe could be some of the stuff which could be used to describe the past 10 weeks of attachment.

It was not a nice feeling trying to rush. It was worse when I knew I had to push 40 cute children to rush too. I did not have the time to really interact with them. I also did not really wish to because I did not want to miss them too much when I left the attachment. Worked perfectly to the boss's guidelines to males in this career path : Build a rapport with them but do not be close to them.

Their guideline is a contradiction. There is no way to build a good rapport without being close to them. That would be superficial.

Anyway, despite all my efforts to keep a distance, I was still touched by some of their actions. 10 weeks were not wasted just on the attachment after all. I still managed to touch some hearts...

Past and Future...

One aspect taught to young people about the internet was internet safety. I thought by changing my id, I have also succeeded in throwing aside my past blog. I should have deleted it entirely instead. Somehow or rather, some people got wind of my past blog and visited it. I should have known better.

It is just a little incident but it got me thinking. Our past will always haunt us no matter where we go. We may 'have started afresh' but that may not be true in reality. So, if you are still young, do not decide to do things which you will get to regret in future.

As for me, I am not looking back. We are born with our eyes facing the front, so we can look into the future and beyond. The past will be there, but I will move on with steps ringing of confidence in myself.

Anything to be happy about?

Woo Ha!! Yee Ha!! Posting for my job is finally out...

Wait. Is there a cause for all this excitement? True, it is a choice which one will not complain at all. True, although I will lose some good friends from there, I will also gain new good friends there. However, it is still just a notification only to where I will be for at least the next 5 years of my life.

Sometimes, being one who kicks myself, I wonder if it is better to have a fresh start someplace else where nobody knows my flaws so I can start rebuilding my impression. Well, I don't have the chance for that I guess. Better make do with what I have now to the maximum.

Putting aside unhappy stuff for small things

My happy days ended when I passed 22. For each problem that comes along, I was mired deeper into the hole in the ground. I was digging a grave for myself. So far, I think I am deep enough to be hidden from the rest.

I also chose a life-long career which allows me to become the hermit from reality. Escaping from realism is what I do. Escapist is my middle name. I am so holed up that I don't get to see the products and causes of my past issues at all. In a way, I can say I am spared the remembrance part, unless I choose to recall.

I am now concentrating on my new life in this small little hole I dug and taking pleasure in small little things like when some generous people decided to colour up my life by just drawing a simple cute picture on my intray of work. It certainly brightens up the day.

Evolution of Mankind

I suddenly have this thought while reading through the evolution of species- species evolve because they need to adapt to a distinct change in environment factors. Mankind has evolved too in their intellectual capability. However...

Mankind has already reached the peak of the food chain on Earth. Mankind is now manipulating to change the environment factors to suit themselves. Mankind only has its own kind to contend with. In this case, evolution may stagnate for Mankind.

What will it take to trigger another evolution stage for Mankind? Ice Age? Some of us may think that we have to reach beyond to find more challenges for ourselves instead of contending with only our fellow human beings. This may be why some of us are pushing for space exploration where Mankind can reach another level.

Sadly, Mankind still cannot move from our comfort zone which is Earth in this case. We work to maintain our economy and nations. We work for our families and ourselves. NASA space exploration lacks funds to push their projects through. We are hardly moving forward as a species...

Dig this idea...

Perseverence may not always be the answer...

One of the values learnt in life - perserverence. Not giving up but moving on ahead is defined as a value. It ascertains that one does not give up his or her efforts so that fruitful success will be attained. That somehow sums up perserverence.

There is the Chinese story where the old woman filed a metal rod into a needle. Yes, the impossible is reached. Yet the time she put into that can be used to invent something more useful or do more meaningful things. The Chinese story has phased out.

Perseverence is good but without planning, it will go nowhere unless you have plenty of luck. For example, if you want to smash your way through a 3m concrete wall, it is better to plan to get more or better instruments than rather take a hammer up and challenge the wall. It is a lesson which I learnt through pain and lots of regret.

Stop a moment to consider this. Sometimes, we may find ourselves at great odds against the majority. Sometimes, we feel that it is unfair and nobody understands. However, perseverence to survive is not just enough.

Strategies need to be planned out to find out the root of the problem which you can tackle, at least something in your area of influence. Look within yourself, learn to be smart while you fight on. Some battles can only be fought once, so there is no repeated telecast, make the best out of it, instead of just going out to confront with only a stubborn dense mind.

My choice

I cannot say I have really done fishing. However, I can safely say that unless if I have beginner's luck, I will most probably be seated at the water side, waiting for nothing to surface.

This can be one of life's metaphor. We are fishing for the right fish that will give us the satisfaction and fulfilment for all the time we have wasted at the water side. However, let's face the truth. If you catch one fish, that fish will never be the right one, for you will want to catch another one. If you do not catch anything, your patience will wear out and in the end, you will be disillusioned and say something like, "There is no fish which deserves my time and efforts."

So what do we want? I cannot answer for you. I walk with my eyes blind to the world around me, be it friends or family, for I reckon they will not have the answer for me. Hope is what people say when they face difficulties. They want a miracle to happen.

Come on. Hope is just simply a carrot hanging in front of a donkey, plodding it to move on. Hope is the denial of reality. I choose to remove the carrot and walk with my eyes open.